If you can, dear reader/viewer/indulger, do forgive the writer’s bane if most cherished friend, as I will proceed to get a little meta. In perusing a recent-ish Harper’s back issue, I found myself quite unsurprised to read, in reference to the recent Writers’ Guild of America (WGA) strike, once again about the dreaded repurposing of intellectual property (IP). Namely, that studios nowadays, given the diminished margins attached to ‘new,’ content, this compelled in part by the rise of streaming services, more and more often rely on extant creative output as opposed to the historical norm (debatable) of taking a shot at an entirely new conceit. As something of a market maven, and abhorrer of waste (aged hipster that I am, I exclusively drink from repurposed mason jars, and boast rather an impressive collection of take-out Tupperware), I find myself personally charmed enough by the notion. Leverage an existing fanbase, pander a bit, spend a little less for de novo artistry and creative control in favor of a jump-off point with likely equivalent or greater return. It makes sense so why not? Especially for something like a ‘summer movie.’ After all, why exactly do people go to the theatres in the summer?

Now for the somewhat comically meta bit. As it happens I was in the middle of a hot yoga session, attempting to morph from tree to cactus and back and what have you, whilst channeling the yogis of yore. And in considering the act as performed just two ponds over in the Subcontinent, it occurred to me that doing yoga in rather sweltering heat is probably kind of in-keeping with how it used to be done. Sorta like historical glamping. Nevertheless, nowadays, in a place that is way too hot all the time (no, not anywhere on Earth ca. 2124), how absurd it must seem that we over here would not turn on the AC if we could. Aha! People watch movies in theatres in the summer to stave off heat stroke! Who amongst us has not been on the sidewalk on a ninety-degree day and walked into some commercial enterprise, a Target, or a CVS, or a movie theatre, simply to escape the sweltering inferno? The Easiest Bake Oven? And, once there, seen something that appeals enough to the mindlessness of an imminent swoon. Be it a bottle of water through a condensation-laden fridge window, that single droplet slashing through the fogged-up glass tantalizing the wares behind; a Häagen-Dazs bar from a slide-top freezer, reached downward into as if the depths of Hades itself were frigid to the ambient scorch; or, most germane, a film based on something you vaguely remember that promises to be awesome and fun to look at? In honor of as much, a series of recent summer films adapted from extant IP, introduced in dialogue by a few people who spent too much time in the heat. And there’s a sequel too!